Column by Tim Riley

John Maynard Keynes, a famous British economist, is said to have made his last words: “I wish I’d drunk more champagne.” As glasses clanged and kisses were doled out with the dawn of the new year, the reality of Keynes words rang more clearly than ever. Life is inherently finite, so a person should seek precisely what they desire in their remaining time.

With that in mind, the prospect of a break from school is quite daunting. With everyone abandoning town, any sort of progress a person wants generally comes to a halt. One should be careful about their assumptions though, or else they may make their own infamous last words. For what was supposed to be a boring month spent waiting for things to gear back up, things sure managed to make themselves interesting.

Christmastime is supposed to be about joyously interacting with one’s friends and loved ones. Families gather, share food and reunite after time apart. After going through this cycle twenty or so times, it should become old hat, but life has a way of throwing a wrench at the worst possible moments. This year, my friends and family remained the same, but having lost my voice, charades became my new favorite activity.

Want a unique experience? Attempt to continually replace the standard “thank you” for a gift with a thumbs-up. Enjoy inaudibly explaining again and again that people’s questions are far too lengthy to answer for a temporary mute. Or, to numb the entire annoyance of being a silenced loud mouth, simply play video games all day and trash talk via the numerous physical taunts learned over years of extensive TV watching. If one speaks of the devil, then he will appear, and if one laments at their boredom, then rest assured, life will find one way or another to cure it.

Life, if anything, prides itself on never fighting a one-front war. Since I could not utter a single word but remained quite the competent typist, it only made sense what outlet would be logical. As it turns out, Facebook is nothing if not a great place to run your mouth when it’s not physically working. Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, and life, being the continual nuisance it is, was simply setting up more non-boring events.

A person should be careful what they wish for, but more importantly, they should be careful of the repercussions of their failed plans to achieve those desires. Almost anything with a large upside also has a large downside. If one keeps playing Russian Roulette, eventually they are going to lose — badly. And as the champagne Keynes was so keen on continuing to enjoy was passed out to usher in this New Year, life decided to bring this idea home to roost.

Neglecting the fact that only my shirt got any champagne, its relevancy could not have been greater. New Year’s Day is supposed to signal a new beginning, new opportunities, and a hopeful cleansing of the failures of the past year. Life, however, does not delineate between years that way and gives no grace period. If it only takes two hours to make one’s first major mistake, then that is exactly what happens. More often than not, it is simply welcome to the new year, same as the old year.

Life is often like a sitcom. Seemingly boring situations lead to strange scenarios that end in comedic relief for others. Then, at the end of the day, one concludes by sitting around with the same people once again pouring over the minutia of their failures. Nothing really ever seems to change at the end of the day; however, unlike an episode of Seinfeld, it is possible that there is a purpose to all of it.

We can only hope that each subsequent champagne toast we give has brought us some iota closer to being prepared for the moments that will change the status quo. And like this break, those key events cannot be easily anticipated. But by continuing the struggle forward, when we finally come about, hopefully the totality of efforts will have prepared us to make the right action in the right moment. By tirelessly prepping for these fleeting opportunities and ceasing them when the time is right, then maybe when we lie on our own deathbed, the champagne we’ve had will be enough.