Missing parts: don’t let someone else ‘complete’ you


Laura Formisano Mug August 28, 2010. Photo by Britney McIntosh

by Laura Formisano

I’m not sure what actor in what movie was the first to mutter the phrase. But after it was said the first time, many more times were to follow.

“You complete me.”

Or any variation of that cliche phrase that implies that the person using it is missing something vital from his life and his chances of survival are slim without his so-called “other half.” Not only have I heard this phrase uttered in movies and music, I’ve now also heard it amongst my peers as well. Frankly, I’m a little concerned.

“You complete me.” Who are these partial humans walking among us? Should I be on the lookout for some stray appendages floating around campus? A couple of run- away kidneys? Come on people, that’s just creepy.

Okay, I admit I may have a cynical approach, but I can’t abide buy into the reasoning that it takes another human being to validate or complete us.

Relying on someone else to ensure your total happiness in life is not only putting enormous pressure on that person, but also short changing yourself.

I have no doubt your significant other is a wonderful person, but to depend on he or she completely is both illogical and unhealthy. If a zombie apocalypse comes tomorrow and your beloved is the first to be carried off by the undead, wouldn’t you want to know that once all the initial shock and sadness wears off, you have a shot at happiness again? (Assuming you survived).

The prospect of not being able to make yourself happy scares me more than decaying corpses running after me — and I scare easy. I need to know that if I lost somebody I value greatly, I would eventually be alright.

While I know the zombie revolution may be a stretch, my point isn’t. The trick to really finding that happiness we all search for isn’t looking for a magical person to sweep into our life and fix every problem we’ve ever encountered and essentially, “complete” us, but to be complete on our own.

Search for someone to complement and enhance your life. You must first know who you are and not only accept yourself, but also love yourself before anyone else can. After all, if you don’t even like you, why should anyone else?

Don’t treat youself like some kind of jig-saw puzzle that’s virtually worthless without a certain piece. Strive for complementary, not completion.