Congress give Occupy Wall Street protesters state of Entitlement

By Jim Blackerby

Members of U.S. Congress have finally had enough of the Occupy Wall Street protesters. Citing recent protesting by protesters about having to clean up after themselves, Congress decided to give the protesters their own state rather than have people be subjected to the filth and foul smells coming from protesters who have not showered or brushed their teeth.

Quoting one New York congressman, “I received numerous calls from constituents complaining that they had to take the long way home rather than walk past people with matted hair and repugnant breath.”

The protesters were given land in Southern California in what is now called “Entitlement.” The newly formed state of Entitlement has a population of about 30 million, of which all are on welfare, with the state government being made up entirely of Wall Street protesters.

I was recently allowed to interview the governor of Entitlement, Mr. Handout, and asked him what the top priority of the newly created state would be.

“Well Jim, I’m glad you asked this question. The No. 1 priority of Entitlement is to ensure that the citizens of this great state get a life where they don’t have to work hard to get what they want. We believe that from the minute you are born, you are promised an easy going life, have a job that pays at least $150,000 with free benefits, and, of course, do not have to pay for anything. Working hard is for other people, all we care about is getting the money other people work for.”

The governor said he had no answer for how the citizens would get this money for not working, but feels confident President Barack Obama and other Democrats will sympathize and fight for them.

In what seems like a cruel twist of fate, the state of Entitlement has no running water, prices of electricity are 10 times as high as other states due to the “green” energy being used, and unemployment is at 100 percent due to the high number of citizens sitting on the couch and watching football seven days a week.

However none of the citizens seem to be concerned and I think one in particular summed it up when she said, “We are just waiting for our bailout.”