Compromise now a foreign concept to Washington

Ladies and gentlemen, Lady Compromise has left the building. That’s right, after 235 years, her majesty has decided she can no longer work with the United States government.

It seems that the failure of Congress’s “Supercommittee” to come up with an agreement to cut $1.2 trillion from the United States’ debt has pushed her over the edge.

When we asked Compromise why she would leave Washington she replied, “There is no working with these people. All they care about is themselves. Everything has turned to politics rather than what is best for the people.”

Many people consider Compromise the most important thing to politics, but Compromise has made it clear that she has given up.

“First it was the debt crises and I thought to myself, ‘surely these people know they need me,’ but when they decided to keep bickering back and forth I just had to leave,” she said. “Now with this supercommittee going back and forth I feel like Washington no longer has a place for me. My mother always told me back when I was a child that I was what would keep people together, but now I’m just not sure. I’ve been here for 235 years. Washington used to be my home and I thought I could grow old here. I guess the current generation has chosen to ignore history and what I have done for this great nation. I’m afraid that without me, this country will start to decline.”

When asked where she would head off to next the Lady replied, “Well who knows where I should go from here? I guess my best bet would be to go to the NBA lockout talks but it seems they are almost as bad.”

Note: Soon after Compromise left, the NBA owners and players reached a deal.