Please, just don’t vote. There’s no point. Nobody really cares about politics and it’s just not that big of a deal. So seriously, don’t vote.

The U.S. is facing only the biggest financial crisis in history. So, why would I vote? I don’t own any stocks, so who cares? I’m going to make $7 for this article. That’s more than minimum wage, right? I know it’s almost two gallons of gas depending on what day it is. So, don’t vote. It’s not like your vote will count anyway. Nobody is listening. Who cares about this so-called green initiative? I like wasting energy. Who cares about global warming? Forget the glaciers. Out with the old and in with the new. I love water. My last name is Waters. So, bring it on.

Why would you care about voting unless maybe you care about the fact that there are millions of Americans who don’t have healthcare and who haven’t seen a doctor or a dentist since New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits — the first time. If you do, then maybe you should reconsider and vote. But don’t vote unless you care about increasing tuition and decreasing library hours because of state budget cuts. If you do, then maybe you should actually go out and vote. You can vote if you care about the Iraq war, women’s rights, civil rights, Darfur and education. If you care about amendments and the fact you can publicly praise George W. Bush (The First Amendment) or celebrate that there won’t be four more years of George W. Bush (The 22nd Amendment), and that gun control (The Second Amendment) is more than just a t-shirt with a man that has grizzly bear arms, then you should vote.

But you do know that if you care about those things, you have to register. You can’t just show up to a booth and vote. It doesn’t work that way. It’s like registering for classes at UK, except that registering to vote is free. The deadline to vote for Kentucky residents is Tuesday. If you wake up Wednesday morning as a born-again American after Barack Obama or John McCain has stirred something within you, then you are S.O.L. So my advice is to register, even if you don’t want to vote right now. You never know what could happen. You could change your mind. If you haven’t educated yourself about a candidate and chosen someone to vote for, then you can sleep in on Nov. 4. No harm, no foul. After all, there’s nothing worse than someone doing “eeny-meeny-miny-moe” in the voting booth.

I’m not afraid to admit that I wrote this column because I was watching a YouTube video and came across one called “Hollywood Declares Themselves.” Leonardo DiCaprio, Sarah Silverman and Ellen DeGeneres, among others, told me not to vote. It’s reverse psychology. Personally, I was going to vote anyway, but I realized that there are some people that won’t vote for some of the reasons that I saw on the video. If reading this column has changed your mind about not voting, go to the Declare Yourself Web site (www.declareyourself.com) and register. Or if you don’t want to listen to me, watch the video on YouTube. Maybe Jonah Hill (that guy from “Superbad”) or Tobey Maguire (that guy that plays Spiderman) will change your mind. After all, the power of Hollywood is amazing. It’s almost as amazing as the power to vote.