There is no curried chicken in the “Jungle Book.” And Indians don’t usually spontaneously burst into song and dance in the rain like they do in Bollywood films.

If your understanding of India is limited to “Slumdog Millionaire” and a call center that periodically ticked you off, you should probably visit some time. India was the 12th country on my trek around the world.

I didn’t really know what to expect going into India, mainly because so many people had told me what I should expect — and everyone had a different opinion:

“It will change your life.” “You will hate it.” “You will love the food.” “You will have explosive diarrhea that will make you wish you were dead.” “You will be attacked and eaten by a tiger.”

OK, so no one actually told me the last one, but I was warned of rabid dogs and charging cows.

The truth is, I wasn’t even sure what I thought about India after leaving. It’s a massive country with more variety than you can imagine. I do now know what I think about several things, however:

1. I think saris are the most beautiful outfits I’ve seen anywhere in the world. I also think they are hard to tie. I spent two hours in front of the mirror before I could get a result that didn’t look like it had been tied by an inebriated Roman used to wearing togas.

2. I think the Taj Mahal is the most perfect man-made building in the world. I also think it’s strange that the Indians there asked to get their pictures with me instead of the Taj. Especially considering how I looked at noon, in 100-degree weather, after getting up at 4 a.m.

3. I think India might be the most religiously diverse country I’ve visited. I also think it would have been nice to keep my shoes on in the temple dedicated to people with skin diseases.

4. I think cricket is incredibly fun. I also think the orphans who taught me deserve a nicer bat and a field to play on instead of piles of garbage.

Someone once told me “whatever you say about India, the opposite was true.”

I stayed in one of the nicest hotels I’ve ever seen and also slept in a hotel bed with bugs and bloodstains. I saw expensive mausoleums and a body floating down the Ganges. I saw wandering cows, begging children and men defecating in plain sight, and malls, businesses and mansions.

What do I think of India? Everything I just said. And the opposite.