As a 20-year-old college student, I’ve seen how common it is for people to go back to their exes for better or for worse.

One thing I never expected was that those experiences would feel as familiar as what I’ve encountered covering Kentucky men’s basketball this season.

Heading into Saturday’s matchup against No. 15 Arkansas, it was no surprise that Kentucky basketball fans began reminiscing about the program’s better days under John Calipari.

However, what was surprising spread across social media like wildfire — a photo of a woman wearing Kentucky gear, standing above the player tunnel and holding a sign that read, “I miss you, Cal.”

The truth is, she is not the first to feel that way.

Throughout the entire season, there was a large portion of BBN reminiscing on the good times they once had with Cal, and the standard that the program used to be held to — one that this year’s team has struggled to live up to consistently.

The Cats entered the game on Saturday with a 3-6 record against Quad One opponents, and 2-6 against ranked teams, including two blowout losses by over 20 points to both No. 11 Gonzaga and, more recently, an 80-55 loss to No. 18 Vanderbilt.

It’s safe to say that following the 25-point loss to the Commodores only four days prior, the expectations were incredibly low for Kentucky in their road matchup against Arkansas.

Not only was it another tough-ranked opponent, but it was especially daunting with Calipari now on the opposing side, in one of the SEC’s toughest environments, and what has quickly become a new, emotionally charged rivalry.

It was also one that Kentucky had dropped in Rupp Arena last season, in the program’s first-ever game against its former head coach, and a game that undoubtedly left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. 

It’s not irrational for Kentucky fans to miss what the program once was under John Calipari.

He secured the 2012 NCAA national championship and led Kentucky to four Final Four appearances (2011, 2012, 2014, 2015).

He dominated the SEC, winning six conference tournament titles and six regular-season championships, while producing 47 NBA Draft picks, including 35 first-round draftees.

Therefore, it’s not shocking that Big Blue Nation is reminiscing on the times it once had under John Calipari, especially during a season in which Kentucky has been, at some points, very uninspiring, but in general, extremely inconsistent.

However, it becomes irrational when the nostalgia and past that Kentucky clings to turn into an unrealistic desire for the national-championship-caliber version of Calipari to exist right now.

The problem is, the coach that Kentucky fans are yearning for isn’t the same Calipari who left Kentucky for Arkansas. It’s a version of him that hasn’t existed in Lexington in years, and most definitely not in Fayetteville in his last two seasons.

Even with Calipari’s non-national-championship-caliber teams at Arkansas and struggles at the end of his Kentucky tenure, it doesn’t override the idea that it’s always easier to return to something familiar — in this case, a coach whose ceiling we’ve already seen — than sit with the uncertainty of someone new.

While Mark Pope has made it clear that he understands the expectations and the tall task that comes with coaching this program, he has yet to prove it.

But here’s where perspective matters. By the numbers, Pope and John Calipari have been coaching nearly the same reality.

Heading into Saturday’s matchup, both coaches held identical 38–19 records since taking over their respective programs.

With Kentucky’s 85-77 win over the Razorbacks, Pope now moves to 39–19, while Calipari falls to 38–20. These are the versions of the coaches to compare.

Not the Calipari who once cut down nets in April, and not the version of Pope who is still learning the ins and outs of running the best program in college basketball history, while simultaneously juggling the unknown of this new NIL era.

The two that should be compared?

The Calipari who combined for a 45–22 record in his last two seasons as Kentucky’s head coach and has struggled to top the SEC at his new school.

The version of Pope, who, even with the struggles this year, is coming off his breakout first year as coach and led the Cats to a 24–12 record, tied for the most single-season AP Top 15 wins in history with eight, and set a program record with five wins over Top 10 teams.

I’ve seen one too many of my friends try to get back together with an ex they know is bad for them.

They don’t miss who he is now — they miss who he was at his best and yearn for that version to come back. The comfort, the familiarity and the version of him that exists only in memory.

Kentucky fans are yearning for the same thing with Calipari.

As humans, it’s in our DNA to cling to versions of the past that once felt safe, understood and oftentimes, successful, rather than sitting with the uncertainty of what comes next.

However, that instinct ignores the reasons it ended in the first place.

The fear of the unknown outweighs rationality in most cases, and while Kentucky basketball isn’t as serious as someone going back to their ex, it’s built on the same mindset and equally as toxic.

You can believe Mark Pope may not ultimately be the answer and still accept that Calipari was no longer the right one. Those truths coexist.

Missing what Kentucky once had doesn’t mean the program was wrong to move on; it just means change is a hard thing to deal with.

However, perspective is our greatest asset in times like this, whether it’s Kentucky basketball or an ex-partner. Kentucky can honor what John Calipari once was without continuing to chase a version of him that no longer exists.

In order to see success in Pope, you must also be willing to let go of the past and be ready to support the future that he could possibly bring.

Growth isn’t always an easy process, and growing pains are inevitable no matter the situation, but it’s impossible to move forward if you’re always looking back.