By: Martha Groppo

Women’s intuition can predict the future, foretell disasters and save the world, but there’s just something about the weather.

The eyes on the back our heads can’t seem to see bad weather coming. Sorry. We can’t be expected to be good at everything.

This explains why we always seem to be wearing the wrong thing. And why meeting a boy with an umbrella is one of the most romantic scenes we can imagine.

Any woman who has been stuck in a white outfit during a deluge sans-umbrella knows what I’m talking about.

What about that day you wore a skirt during the tornado big enough to blow Dorothy back to Oz? Your anxiety built as you felt updraft after updraft. Then, WHOOSH! Your vision was blocked by the same patterned skirt you had just seen safely below your waist.

High heels in puddles (or snow … or ice … or mud), strapless dresses in the cold, long hair being blown into lip gloss — these inconveniences make bad weather just a little more annoying for us.

Why do we not learn from our experiences? Because you so kindly help us. I mean, honestly. Getting dropped off right next to the door isn’t exactly motivation for us to dress more practically next time.

Don’t make fun of the girl wearing rain boots on a sunny day. Yes, the garish colors, stripes and rubber duckies decorating her wearable fortresses of dry are tacky, but she is at least making an attempt to be prepared. She can’t help that her women’s intuition just failed her.

And don’t laugh at the girl in white who is looking more and more like she belongs in a bad chick flick as the rain pelts her. Just open up that umbrella you always seem to have on hand and fall in step beside her.

By: Andy Burress

Good grief, could we get any more rain? Seriously. I still have a lot of work to finish before graduation, and every time these storms come rolling in I wake up not knowing where I am.

On a typical rainy day, one can usually find me KO’d in any of these four locations: the couch at the Kernel, the back of Memorial Hall, front and center of 215 CB or literally anywhere in my apartment … literally.

It’s aggravating really, to not have a say in the matter. You think I like sleeping this much?

I’m like a sloth. It’s happened on more than one occasion where instead of studying the final hours before a big test or finishing up a paper, I’m instead balled up in the corner purring.

I’m no help when it comes to calming the ladies either, for the same reason. I feel so bad for them, going on and on about how afraid they are, while I’ve got one eye half closed looking like a crazy person trying to stay attentive.

I wonder if I’m alone.

Oh hey it’s raining againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.