This is a series of pro/con columns that will appear on the Kernel opinions page every other Thursday.

We want to know your stance. E-mail [email protected].

Column by Blair Thomas

The art of the Spring Break hookup — whether it be a slobbery make out session in the middle of a crowd of strangers, or the (eh hem) unmentionable act which leaves you slinking down the boardwalk at 9 a.m. in your night-before clothing — is a combination of bad decisions (hopefully) brought on by excessive alcohol intake and well-spun exaggerations.

Let’s face it, there’s no way he ran into Megan Fox at a bar and got her number (does he really think a girl who looks like Megan Fox would go for a college beer guy, a popped collar and a backwards UK hat?). But he’s going to come home from Spring Break telling that story because, hey, it’s a good story to tell and the girl he actually hooked up with more resembles Rosanne Barr.

Few things come more welcomed by the typical college student than Spring Break. The time away from classes to relax and hang out with friends should serve as just that: a fun and stress-free break. But insert here a Spring Break hookup and watch the stress pile on.

It might seem like a good idea. After all, you’re all dressed up, your skin is rid of its winter pasty white, and you’re newly single and looking for a good time. But what looks like a good time tonight — and what looks pretty hot in the dark lighting of the bar and beneath a layer of beer-induced bad judgment — is going to be a lot less appealing in the morning light (and cross your fingers, not contagious).

While the itchy rashes that sometimes come along with sex with strangers is a concern, I’d be more inclined to dread the baggage that follows the night. There’s the possibility he’s a creeper (an Internet stalker who would love to be with you forever, or a 40-year-old who did look young for their age), or the possibility your temporary companion is already claimed by some other lucky lady or fella (let’s not be home wreckers, friends). And of course girls, there’s always the unmentionable bun in the oven that you won’t discover until you’ve been back at school a few weeks.

And there’s no ointment for that.

Hookups have happened to the best of us, and while sometimes fun, the downsides to the Spring Break hookup are much more high profile than just having to face the awkward stranger and roommate sharing a bowl of cereal at the breakfast table. Just try to keep the nine people you’re sharing that condo with quiet when they catch your new friend sneaking out in the early morning hours.

No matter what tropical destination you chose this year, remember what happens on Spring Break definitely won’t stay there … especially not if it itches, burns, or if your big mouth friends have any say in the matter.

So maybe this one time it’d be OK to go with the exaggeration. It’ll make your conquest that much hotter.