Friend codes: the rules of interpersonal communication



by Alison Carson

When it comes to relationships with friends, there is a set of laws to ensure all interactions are carried out properly known as bro code or girl code depending on your gender. They are the unspoken guidelines that mean a lot in world of dating — especially when your friends are involved.

When it comes to dating a friend’s ex, the bro code states that it all depends on who breaks up with who. If the girl breaks up with a bro, it’s a no go. But if he dumps her, there is a six-month grace period before you are able to go out.

In the world of girls, an ex if off-limits no matter what. Even if it’s simply someone your friend liked, it becomes complicated. Girls tend to hold grudges and become more possessive over previous flames than guys, which is why only in very rare cases is dating a friend’s ex acceptable in this case.

When entering a new relationship, it’s a difficult balance between hanging with your friends and your new girlfriend or boyfriend. However, bro code is pretty specific on its rules where time should be spent.

We all know the saying, “bros before … ,” but once a guy gets serious with a girl, the rule may be bent with group consent. Guys are usually supportive if it means you’ve landed a girl — as long as it doesn’t interfere with the Monday night football routine.

In the world of girl code, choosing your guy over your friends is a lot more tolerated. According to girl code, as long as your friend doesn’t feel replaced, there is generally a mutual understanding.

In the world of dating, bro code requires the proper wingman. It requires that as a friend you help your fellow man out by making sure he gets the girl or at least her phone number. This means two bros can’t go for the same girl, so it’s essential the potential girl is claimed by a bro.

Once designated, the proper wingman should assist, even if that means picking up the slack or catching another ride home.

In the world of girls, it’s all about the buddy system. Your girlfriends have to approve of the guy in question. The group may give affirmation during a stealthy bathroom meeting. Leaving a friend alone is strictly off limits and a serious violation of girl code.

In both codes, the emphasis is on being as loyal of a bro or girl as possible. While most of the codes are partially made in jest, they mean being there for your friends no matter what.