Say no to ‘butt chugging’



By Alex Forkner | @ForknerKyKernel

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So it’s a Saturday night, and you’re out looking for a good time.

You wander into a lively house full of your peers celebrating being young and alive, adult beverages in hand.

Maybe you decide to explore the house further and find a secluded back room with a small gathering of people, each with a box of wine in one hand, a funnel in the other and a twisted grin on their faces.

My advice to you at this point would be to run. Run fast and far away. Otherwise you may be convinced to partake in one of the more idiotic drinking adventures ever thought up by mankind.

“Butt chugging,” the art of pouring wine down a tube inserted into someone’s rectum, is in the news thanks to men of the University of Tennessee’s Pi Kappa Alpha chapter. Police found empty and partially empty wine bags strewn across the fraternity house during an investigation after one individual was dropped off at the hospital with a blood-alcohol level over 0.4 percent, according to the Knoxville News Sentinel.

The student has since denied receiving the alcohol enema, because, hey, wouldn’t you? Talk about an awful thing to be known for. Can you imagine the nicknames?

You may find yourself asking, “Why is ‘butt chugging’ a thing?” And you are right to ask that, intelligent reader.

According to Knoxville Police Department spokesman Darrell DeBusk, in a story in the News Sentinel, “the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the blood stream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver.”

Sounds fun, right? Wrong! This practice greatly increases the chance for alcohol poisoning and will very likely land you in the intensive care unit for a while.

I’m well aware college is sometimes a time for drunken revelry and experimentation. That’s fine, but isn’t this taking things a little too far? And don’t forget about people sticking vodka-soaked tampons up there. Why the newfound infatuation with our rectums? What has happened to us, people? Aren’t we better than this?

The next time you want to get a little loose with your friends and decide to imbibe some liquor, do yourself a favor and keep your pants on, use your mouth and avoid any embarrassment or injury.