Nudity should not cause embarrassment between partners

The Pleasure Principle

Mellisa Estebo

Listener question from Chris, UK student:

“Two people are having consensual sex, and begin taking shots to the point of inebriation during sex. Does alcohol still void consent?”

YES, YES, YES! According to Kentucky statute 510.020 Lack of consent, a person is deemed incapable of consent when he or she is mentally incapacitated.

If someone were drinking to the point of inebriation, that person would be considered mentally incapacitated and therefore unable to give consent. The lines get a little blurry with the question of “how much is too much?” However, if there is any doubt of whether or not consent can be given, then the answer is no.

For more information on this subject, if you are a survivor of sexual assault, or if you have been affected by sexual assault, the Violence Intervention and Prevention Center at UK or the Bluegrass Rape Crisis Center are wonderful resources. The BRCC also has a 24-hour crisis hotline that can be reached at 1-800-656-4673.


According to, there are two types of nakedness; pornographic nakedness and nakedness portrayed in the media, such as swimsuit and lingerie models. With Americans watching porn at an accelerated rate and being exposed to half-naked women in the media, one would think that being naked would be more acceptable.

Victoria Secret models are half-naked on TV and it is considered acceptable, but as soon as someone mentions what might be underneath that lingerie, the Federal Communications Commission responds with hefty fines.

We all know the nakedness depicted in porn could not be further from reality. If this is the case, then why are so many women striving for the “porno look?”

Why do men constantly compare their sexual partners to what they see in porn, and why do men and women feel slighted if their partner doesn’t match up to the porn expectation of a perfect body?

To some, being naked in front of a partner can be embarrassing and cause feelings of vulnerability. Perhaps this is a testament to the shear power of nakedness itself.

If we dropped the porn act and talked with our partners openly about our fears and concerns, then perhaps the fear and vulnerability of being naked would diminish. After all, our partners are more than likely feeling the same thing.

Try undressing slowly, or have your partner slowly undress you. Doing so might help these feelings diminish, and near-nakedness coupled with the thought of what might be underneath can be extremely arousing for some partners.

What’s missing from porn (besides the obvious) is the lure of near-nakedness. There are many people who prefer looking at a near-naked body rather than a fully naked body. Near-nakedness allows the mind to wonder, and to fantasize about what might be underneath, and impending nakedness can be more arousing than nakedness itself.

In a culture that watches porn and promotes half-nakedness in the media, it seems odd that we are so wound up when it comes to actually being naked. Why not try to push the envelope and dare to be naked.

Mellisa Estebo is a psychology sophomore and host of WRFL’s “Sexually Speaking.”

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