Dueling Columns: Avocados are overrated

Dueling columns

Dueling columns

The popular fruit that has been going viral for a few years now seems to be all the rage for millennials. Avocados, served in countless ways, provide not only health benefits, but apparently make you more hipster than a beanie and PBR.

But in my humble opinion: avocados are disgusting and overrated.

Despite being allergic to them, I genuinely have nothing positive to say about everyone’s favorite healthy fat. Whether it comes on toast, à la carte or mixed in some new smoothie, nothing can mask the bland taste.

Between 2012-2016, the United States led in avocado imports at $1.99 billion worth spreading across the 50 states, making all avocado fans fulfilled. I, on the other hand, do not get the hype surrounding them.

Did someone wake up one day and think, “I’m going to create the next hipster, millennial icon,” and looked over and saw and avocado and thought, “yep, this is it!”

Can anyone pinpoint the exact moment avocados became trendy? This is a real question because I just can’t put my finger on it.

Avocados are like that one friend you have that everyone is obsessed with and you just think, “I don’t see it?” Avocados are the fruit that everyone started eating to be cool and different, and not it seems the whole world is infatuated. It was as if an adult finally figured out how to start getting those pesky kids to eat healthy and everyone just went along with it.

What happened to the “let’s see how much fast food I can eat in one day” trend? Since when did eating fruit on toast become a revelation that magically made avocados taste better? Let’s not pretend that pre-2012 anyone actually ate avocados because they enjoyed the taste.

Perhaps I am biased in my thinking because, being allergic to the fruit, I cannot partake in it and therefore am jealous of all of those who can. Personally, the one time I tried avocado I was unpleasantly surprised by not only the swelling of my tongue, but the overall taste and texture. Maybe I’m wrong, but avocados just aren’t my jam.

The hype surrounding this food that is now worthy of being tattooed, worshipped and whipped into various concoctions, is something I might not ever wrap my head around. But to all of you avocado lovers out there who are ultimately plotting my demise for expressing this extremely unpopular opinion, keep doing you. Make that avocado toast and dedicate your days to planning how you will incorporate that green mush into your day.

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