I’m finally coming to terms with a critical lapse in my judgment, and I would like to apologize. 

I was wholeheartedly a Trump skeptic, if not downright a nonbeliever of nearly the totality of his “Make America Great Again” agenda. I thought the man had no small number of problems; he’s racist or misogynistic or whatever the media wants to dub him this week.

I knew, deep down, that he would be a genuinely awful pick as president, and I hoped that the vast majority of prospective G.O.P. voters only liked him more than President Biden. 

In the same vein, I thought Biden wasn’t the best option. It just wasn’t as obvious as the latter. He was just less upfront about it. Between one senile man and another senile man (but this one wears a spray tan), I wasn’t happy with either pick. 

Then, Biden dropped out of the race. The game had changed.

Kamala Harris wouldn’t have been my first pick, either. I knew little about her policy or her as a person, and I felt I didn’t have the trust in her that a citizen of a democracy should have in a candidate to cast a vote. I didn’t want to settle on someone better than the other. I thought settling on a candidate was the root cause of our presidential woes. 

So, I didn’t have a first pick. I didn’t like any of the options.

I convinced myself that the responsible citizen thing to do would be to completely ignore the election, push it to the back of my mind, and stay as nonpartisan or apolitical but informed as possible.

I followed the FiveThirtyEight polls for the better part of three months and was by no means completely ignoring the election cycle. I knew that after Biden dropped out, that was it for the Democratic Party.

On Nov. 7, 2024, I, while admittedly misguidedly in hindsight, had an air of begrudging optimism. I was hopeful that it wouldn’t be as bad and that the people who swore up and down that he had the 2020 election stolen from him would finally pipe down for a bit. 

We’re rapidly approaching the four-month mark, and it sure as shootin’ hasn’t been slow for news, has it?

Just in the first two months of his administration, the stock market is tanking, we have aligned ourselves closer to Russia instead of Europe, we have I.C.E. raids across the land of the free, universities are under attack, the leader of the Health and Human Services branch says that cod liver and oil are a viable alternative to the measles vaccine, Elon Musk is holding cabinet meetings—and the list just goes on and on.

I know what you’re thinking, “You should have known! He outright said he was going to be a day one dictator!” 

Golly-gee, I’m so sorry for not taking campaign promises at face value. It’s not like they ever lie on the campaign trail. 

Looking back, I should have taken Trump at face value. You can say a lot of things about the man, but saying that he doesn’t have a filter definitely isn’t one of them. What I didn’t expect, however, is the overwhelming onslaught of policies that he has pushed upon us.

It’s been nonstop, and it just keeps getting worse. I thought it was bad last week, but here we are. It’s like living through a really bad “Saturday Night Live” skit that just keeps going. 

Why is the leader of the free world, supposedly the most prosperous and forward-thinking nation, now siding with a man who has victimized and bullied Ukraine? Why is he falsely stating that Ukraine started the war? Why are we subjecting an entire country filled with innocent people to total annihilation? Is it just because the leader of Ukraine has some ideals that some Americans don’t believe in?

That’s just one example. One thing is clear throughout his rhetoric, he doesn’t speak for the vast majority of Americans. Does he think he does, or does he just not care?

The better question is, why aren’t we doing anything about it?

Freedom of speech is being restricted. Social media caters to the MAGA movement. Freedom of the press? Unless given a green light by the administration, journalists aren’t allowed in the White House press room.

Going out and protesting is great. If you’re upset about what is happening around you, more power to you for spending your days doing that. 

I, for one, do not have time in my day to do that. I run a desk at the Kentucky Kernel. I work 5 days a week. I have 18 hours of classes. I can’t practice my freedom of speech because I’m so bogged down and all that’s left is to endure the wake left behind by the stuff I’m supposed to be protesting.

I’m just so tired.

So now, I’m stuck here. It’s an impossible position. I have to bear the burden of an unnecessary trade war when groceries are already at exorbitant prices, the fear that my scholarships will be revoked or that I’ll lose my job because half of the workforce is undocumented.

I guess I made my bed by not voting. All I can do now is sleep in it.