With Thanksgiving quickly approaching some of you might be considering taking your significant other home for the holidays.

While it is a fun and exciting time for most, throwing your partner into the mix can be stressful. Unless your family is prefect (and if it is please tell me your secret) the holidays can turn into a battleground of opposing political views and embarrassing lines of questioning about your future.

If you are planning on feeding the person you like to the wolves, here are some tips on making sure it goes as smoothly as possible.

Make sure they want to come with you:

Don’t force mixing your worlds together; sometimes “family love” and “romantic love” are like oil and water. If you want to bring your partner around for the holidays, talk to them and make sure they’re on board. That also goes for those people being asked to visit families — don’t lie about it. If you’re going to be uncomfortable sitting next to a bunch of 12-year-olds that want to know your life story and want to talk about cooties, tell your significant other that it might be too much.

Prepare them for the worst case scenario:

While scaring them out of meeting your family isn’t the best idea, making sure they know what could possibly happen is. The holidays are already full of high tensions and who doesn’t have that one aunt or uncle who says inappropriate things?

Making sure your significant other knows that your grandpa might start talking about deporting all the non-white people in America or that your aunt might drink too much and start yelling about her pending divorce will prepare them for the worst of your family’s drama.

Hopefully your family will be on their best behavior and your significant other will survive unscathed, but it’s always better to be prepared.

Make sure they meet your immediate family first before taking them to a large gathering:

If this is the first holiday season you’re spending together, introducing your partner to your parents/guardians/siblings gives them someone else to talk to at family gatherings. You don’t want your partner stuck in the corner like an anti-social weirdo while you’re discussing your plans after graduation with your cousins.

Giving your significant other another person that they can talk to can help them feel less alone and more prepared. It also helps your family get to know your partner if they can talk to them without your hovering around.

Have a plan:

Make sure you and your significant other are on the same page about your relationship — or you know what lies you need to tell them.

Did you meet on Tinder but don’t want to own up to that? Make sure you know if you met at the library or in class. Are you thinking about putting a ring on it or already have? Be prepared for your mom’s questions about grand-babies, living together, and awkward pauses where no one wants to accidentally touch on the fact that you might be having sex.

Have an escape route:

This is an important part of any family gathering, regardless of dragging your loved one into it. My parents, brother and I have a code word when we’re ready to leave and that’s a good thing to implement for your partner as well.

Have a backup plan just in case things get to stressful for your significant other. If things get too heated, have a plan on how to get out of the situation outside of “you’re all crazy and we have to leave.” It doesn’t have to be an elaborate plan, it can be as easy as telling your family “We’re going to meet my friend for coffee,” or “We’re going to see a movie,” and getting out of the situation.

Regardless of what your plans are for thanksgiving, I hope yours is enjoyable and filled with love and food. And if you are dragging your special friend home to meet your family, good luck.

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