I never thought I could give back my dog.

As a student service dog foster, adjusting to life after returning a puppy you helped raise is difficult, but the comfort of knowing they will provide relief for a family outweighs the pain of saying goodbye.

Last Friday, with shaky hands and a heavy heart, I somehow managed to put Terra, an 8-month-old golden retriever, on a van back to Xenia, Ohio.

There she will begin advanced training to become a service dog.

Each semester a group of UK students welcome about 22 puppies to campus from 4 Paws for Ability, an organization that trains service dogs for veterans and children with disabilities.

Student puppy fosters play a critical role in the development of these puppies by helping them grow into confident, obedient and loving dogs by socializing them in environments they might encounter while working as a service dog. 

The dogs live with the foster full time and accompany us to restaurants, stores, movie theaters, class — anywhere we go, they go too.

Bringing a dog everywhere you go can be exciting, but in a lot of ways it is like being responsible for a child—unpleasant encounters come with the territory.

A normal day with Terra might have included trying to pick up liquid dog poop in front of half of the basketball team or figuring out what to do when she decided she was too afraid of traffic to move while standing in the middle of the crosswalk.

Despite a few obstacles, watching Terra grow up has been the best part of my time at UK.

So much so that when the inevitable “give back day” inched closer and closer I wasn’t sure I could do it.

Service dogs, even in training, aren’t like normal dogs. They become integrated into every part of your life, and you into theirs. 

They’re at your feet when you’re nervous during a test and make you smile when you’re stressed at work. 

They are excited to be by your side no matter where you are.

Somehow, even when you aren’t expecting it, these dogs snuggle themselves into every corner of your heart.

More than anything I wish that Terra could stay with me forever. I think about what she is doing at least one hundred times a day.

I still find myself checking her bed, only to realize that she’s not there and that she won’t ever be there again.

But Terra has a purpose that is much bigger than me.

As I mope around my apartment, there is a mom who can’t sleep through the night because she fears her son will have a seizure in his sleep.

There is a dad scared to take his daughter in public because she might run off.

Worst of all, there is a kid coping with a disability who is growing up without a best friend like Terra.

My heartbreak is a small price to pay in exchange for the security and love Terra will provide for a family some day.

As hard as it is to let go, saying goodbye is a big step forward on Terra’s journey towards becoming a service dog.

These dogs are destined for great things, and even though my role in Terra’s life was small, I am honored to have been a part of it.