Words cannot describe how excited I am for my favorite holiday this weekend, but they can assert that my favorite holiday — Halloween — is by far the most ideal holiday in all of American culture.

Between the horror movie marathons on television, seeing decorations on houses and inside department stores, and deciding which costume to wear, the buildup for Halloween is almost as good as the holiday itself.

Christmas is wonderful, but the sight of people going into bankruptcy buying presents for people they sometimes don’t even like is moderately depressing. Thanksgiving brings the whole family to the table, but you inevitably over-engorge yourself and pass out on the couch while the Detroit Lions are being beaten by [insert name here].

Independence Day makes me proud to be an American, though I’m not sure how blowing things up and grilling hamburgers while talking politics with my ultra-conservative uncle increases my patriotism in any way.

But on Halloween, there are no obligations or expectations. There is only opportunity for people of any age to have a good time.

From a child’s point of view, Halloween is the one day a year where regulations on candy consumption are completely suspended. Kids get to roam their neighborhoods bumming people for cavity-inducing sweets.

The kids who know what they’re doing have a second or even third costume on standby so they can make multiple rounds of the neighborhood. And this is completely acceptable, because Halloween is the one day a year where judgment is limited.

For further proof of this claim, look no further than to the way ladies dress on Halloween. The men here at UK know what I’m talking about, and they are just as excited as I am.

For whatever reason, Halloween is the one day a year where women can be as scantily clad as they want and aren’t judged for it. I know that what I’m saying is accurate because it’s a paraphrasing of a quote from “Mean Girls.” Personally, this is one of the many reasons that I wish every day was Halloween.

And while younger kids get to go on a mission known as “trick-or-treat,” the older kids stay inside for a little fun as well. I think most people would agree with me that very few college experiences can beat a successful Halloween party. And I’m sure that, as much as they refuse to admit it, our parents will be making the most out of those empty nests and throwing parties of their own.

But possibly the best part of Halloween is that for one night, you get to be someone other than yourself. No matter what problems you have going on in your life, they can be tossed aside to embrace an alter ego of your choosing. I’ve donned many outrageous alter egos for Halloween over the years, from a stereotypical pimp to a blonde drag queen.

This year, I’ll be channeling my inner Al Capone and dressing as a prohibition-era gangster. None of these identities are anywhere close to mirroring my actual personality, but for one night a year that doesn’t matter. You get to be whomever or whatever you want to be.

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