We’ve all heard them, some may have used them, but most of us get a good laugh out of them. They are the beginning to many relationships, or the end to what could have been a conversation. They are: Pickup lines.

In my last column of the year, I could think of no better way to go out than with a compilation of these attempts at picking someone up. So here we go with the classics, the cheesy and the just plain creepy.

The classic: “What’s your major?”

This might not even seem like a line, but if it isn’t the quickest way to start a conversation on this campus I don’t know what is. It opens the door to endless follow-up questions and reveals a bit about a personality right up front. You have one foot in the door to get the conversation going. It may seem simple, but it’s true – the best pickup lines are the ones that start conversations, not bring them to a screeching halt.

More classics:

“Didn’t we have *random class* together?”

“You seem familiar. Have we met before?”

“You know, you look so much like *insert celebrity name here*”

The cheesy: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Here is a good rule of thumb – if your pickup line involves the phrase “Is your daddy a (thief, king, astronaut, policeman, butcher, whatever)” then stop. Do not proceed. Cheesy only works one way, and that is if you play it off like you knew it was a joke.

For your own romantic safety, don’t let any older brother figure or movie character convince you it is a good idea to tell a lady, “I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock.” You better be totally joking, or be ready to accept laughter in your face. Cheesy is on the lower tier of come ons, but if they are used in jest they are more likely to break the ice.

More cheese:

“How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name is ___.”

“You know who you look like? My next girlfriend.”

“Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

“What’s that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.”

“You must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.”

“Did the sun come out or did you just smile?”

The just plain creepy: “Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?” Yeah, anything that jokes about knocking a girl out – not cool. Neither are most jokes involving naming your body parts, waking up in an unfamiliar location, or being in need of sex so desperately you are suicidal. These should never be used. Seriously, they are just terrible.

More creepiness:

“How do you like your eggs in the morning?”

“I make more money than you can spend.”

“Is that a ladder on your leg or just the stairway to heaven?”

“Your body’s name must be Visa. It’s everywhere I want to be.”

“I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you. “

Pickup lines are a part of meeting people. They can bring on a laugh or at least give you a great story to tell your friends later. So be bold, be creative, but be respectful. You might come up with an original pickup line that lands you the girl/guy you’ve been too nervous to approach.

Katie Saltz is a journalism junior.