Nine out of 16 Johnson Center Rock Wall employees voted that bread and butter pickles are better than dill. The GroupMe chat got pretty heated, but the best pickle won in a survey that was definitely not biased, lacking statistical significance or anything else we learned back in Statistics 210.

Bread and butter pickles, for those of you who do not know, are the little chunks of sweet pickles that do wonders on a burger, breakfast sandwich or anything else that is mostly composed of savory tastes (that’s right, I have watched a cooking show instead of studying a time or two). Bread and butter pickles are quickly becoming popular at restaurants due to their superior flavor.

In fact, it is a strong possibility that Bubble Bass ordered dill pickles on his burger in the SpongeBob SquarePants August 21, 1999, episode, “Pickles”. I mean, if you want to be a gross, mean fish who causes SpongeBob to lose his grilling confidence, go ahead and continue eating dill pickles. I personally care about the feelings of those who work in the food industry.

Similarly, only dill pickles can be purchased in a bag of juice at most gas stations. If you have never picked up one of these abominations, save yourself the trauma the next time you see a pile of them in the refrigerated section. Bread and butter pickles have too much class to lower themselves to such an appalling means of consumption, which is why only dill pickles are sold this way. It’s certainly not because dill pickles are more popular or something crazy like that.

Let’s say dill pickles are more popular. Just for a second. This is, of course, ridiculous, but we can imagine for a moment an insane world in which this would be true. If it were, being popular does not necessarily determine that something is good. Plenty of things have been great without being popular, such as backpacking, pit bulls and me during high school.

So, for no particular reason at all, let us fellow bread and butter pickle enjoyers stand together to defend the honor of the best pickle out there on National Pickle Day.