You know what really grinds my gears? Studying.

Sure, I know studying for tests helps you retain the information you learned in class. Studying also increases the chances that you will then use that information in the “real world,” but I still hate it. Just like pennies, commercials and sales tax, studying is one of the unfortunate realities of life.

Experts say that if students attend every class, take good notes and review those notes when they go back home every day, they should float above C level. According to Carnegie Unit standards, for every hour a student spends in class, they should expect to spend two hours studying outside of class.

Unless you’re Jessie Spano from “Saved by the Bell,” this isn’t always do-able. Let’s face it, college students are busy people, and if we can’t do it while on Facebook, it’s just not happening.

While these above principles can certainly help, there are other ways to keep academically fit.

For instance, if you have Spanish class, try listening to your favorite songs, in Spanish. I really don’t know where you can find these songs, or even if anyone has ever done a Spanish version of Lyte Funky Ones’ greatest hits, but I am positive it would help. I’ll tell you what, if you find that album, buy it and I’ll pay you back double in Schrute bucks.

Also, if you sleep with a book under your pillow, you will wake up not only refreshed, but all of the information in the book will be in your head. Osmosis, the scientists call it, is where the words travel, like text messages, from the book into your ears. It’s half science, half magic, so you aren’t supposed to understand it. I got this information from greatest thing ever, Wikipedia, so it has to be true.

Some people don’t even like going to class. One kid I know has a minimum temperature that he tolerates for going to class. It has to be above 50 degrees. He didn’t get “thrown out” of UK, just “not invited back,” either way he doesn’t have to pay tuition anymore.

The moral of this story is that if you get a letter saying you’re on “academic probation” and that you will get kicked out if you don’t get your grades up, take it seriously: they aren’t bluffing.

While it is true that going to class is important, keep in mind George Washington never went. He didn’t turn out so bad now, did he? Hey, I’m just giving you all the facts.

The truth is, although studying is the devil’s work, we have some pretty good tools here at UK that makes it a little easier.

Check out the Hub @ WT’s in the basement of the W.T. Young Library. It has computers that will please both guys in the Apple commercials, comfortable furniture and a Jerry’s Restaurant. Well, the Jerry’s is still in the works, I’ve been told.

Also, while you’re there, check out the Writing Center, where consultants can help you improve your papers and ultimately help you make better grades, and technically it isn’t studying. If you plan on going, keep in mind that it isn’t open on Saturdays.

Above all, the most important thing to remember during your stay here at UK is that you are students first, and that means your main focus should be learning and making good grades. It’s sometimes easy to forget that with so much going on, but you just can’t forget and expect to be successful.

With a little hard work, creativity and some good advice from your friends at Student Government, you’ll be on that Dean’s List in no time. See you in Nashville at the Music City Bowl!

Tyler Montell is the UK Student Government Senate president. E-mail [email protected]