Kim Kardashian’s fairytale divorce?

 

 

In a shocking turn of events Monday, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries after a grand total of 72 days of apparently not so wedded bliss.

Kim’s Fairytale Wedding is still fresh on my DVR; you can imagine my disappointment when I heard the news that there would be no point in watching the spectacle now.

As a relatively loyal viewer of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” I feel personally affected by this … tragedy. I am truly upset that I will not be able to watch Kim and Kris live out their fairytale in front of the E! cameras; all the while, Momma Kris (not to be confused with the groom) gets her 10 percent.

Perhaps more importantly, what is going to become of that 20.5-carat ring? Kim requested that the terms of their prenuptial agreement be upheld and that “miscellaneous jewelry and other personal effects” be treated as separate property. What a relief, I’d hate for the multimillionaire to lose that timeless piece of jewelry.

The New York Post reported that Kim made $17.9 million from her wedding. That is slightly more than I anticipate getting in wedding gifts.

According to Forbes, “using the $17.9 million figure as a crude estimate, Kim raked in just under $250,000 a day, and over $10,000 an hour, for her 72-day marriage.” Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

A small part of me wants to give the girl the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she realized Kris constantly sounded like he had a frog in his throat? Maybe the unforeseen stress of the NBA lockout put too much stress on the newlyweds? But then I come to my senses.

Sources are reporting one cause of the breakup is a dispute concerning where the couple was going to settle down. Let me take this moment to tell you this is a relatively important and foreseeable question, one that probably should have been addressed before walking down the aisle in a ceremony complete with three Vera Wang gowns.

So, what have we learned? Perhaps people should stop following in the footsteps of Nick and Jessica and leave their marriage off of cable television, unless you need to make a quick buck — in which case I’d recommend calling Ryan Seacrest.