Focus on personal happiness rather than finding ‘the one’

Ever feel just exhausted? After all our daily responsibilities are taken care of, we’re left to wonder about others. Specifically, our significant others. And that can be a lot to think about while staring at the ceiling all night. Wouldn’t it be easier if we just said, “forget it?”

Instead of putting time and energy into something that doesn’t come with a guarantee of happiness, why not put that energy into school, work, friends, and most importantly, us? Imagine a world where our sole focus was on what makes us happy.

Imagine a world where we weren’t concerned with the world of dating and sex. Where it was okay to be alone.

The stereotype that college students are having sex every weekend only adds to this notion that sex is supposed to be the headline of our lives. However according to Sandy Caron, a professor of family relations and Human Sexuality at the University of Maine, the average college student only has 3 to 4 partners throughout their college experience. With the number being lower than what we are made to believe, shouldn’t it be easier to put these thoughts aside and focus on something else?

We’ve all heard the saying that once you stop looking for that perfect guy, or girl, they’ll finally come along. Everyone has a friend of a friend who found Mr./Mrs. Right just when they stopped looking. Is this fantasy? Or is there a truth to this idea? Either way, why aren’t we listening?

If anything else it gives us a chance to be happy with just being us. It gives us the opportunity to seek validation from within, from our achievements. Not from the kind words and warm embraces of a significant other.

We take the risk of missing the world around us. And all the small interactions that may never lead to anything other than a good story, or some insight, if we are constantly distracted by looking for that perfect someone.

Perhaps the saying is true, if we stop looking they will come. If we instead take the time to learn what we enjoy, what makes us happy, in the long run it can only make us a better partner. We’ll have something to talk about instead of focusing on what they like ­— or shifting our personality and wants and desires to suit them.

Maybe this is all nonsense. Maybe we should keep looking because who knows? People find love in all sorts of ways.

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