Balancing give and take is crucial for relationships

Often there are two types of partners in a relationship: a giver and a receiver. This isn’t always the case, but when it is you have to consider where the line is drawn between appropriate giving and inappropriate sacrificing. 

Relationships take time and effort, and if you’re going into one thinking it’s going to be easy then you are highly mistaken. 

Your significant other becomes the person you lean on, the one you go to in times of need and in return should give the same support and attention. 

In some relationships, this support and attention can seem one-sided, and if you’re the “giver” in the relationship, you may be blind to this.

Givers tend to always put their partner’s needs and wants in front of their own, and this isn’t a bad thing. You’re showing your significant other that you care and that you will be there for them no matter the circumstance. 

Being in love with someone means you value that person’s life just like you value your own, so it’s not ridiculous to think you shouldn’t be putting them before yourself. 

There does come a time, though, when you have to evaluate the relationship and ask yourself if you are giving more than you are receiving, if that is okay, and if perhaps you’re giving has become sacrificing. 

Some sacrifices are necessary in a relationship, but only to an extent. When they really need you, you will be there for them even if it cuts into other plans. 

You can’t always be stubborn and get your way. You have to communicate and work together. 

You may occasionally dig deep into your bank account to buy special little gifts and take them out on dates. You want them to feel special. 

But sacrifices made for a relationship can cross the line into unhealthy territory when they start to bring significant stress into your daily life. 

Being the giver in a relationship is perfectly okay. You’re compassionate, and you want to do everything you can for your significant other to make them happy. 

But if you find yourself giving up sleep or not being able to eat because you are doing too much for them, then you are no longer in a healthy, stable relationship. 

It is okay for your partner to need you and feel like they can lean on you and come to you in tough situations, like the death of a loved one or periods of depression and anxiety. 

It is okay for you to worry about the person you love. That is normal, you care about them and don’t want anything bad to happen to them. 

What is not okay is if they seem to be putting so much pressure on you that it feels like you’re the only one keeping them together. 

Your significant other is still an individual and so are you. Just like you, they still have to know when they have to do things for themselves. 

In cases of depression, you can’t make them better. They have to take that upon themselves and seek help on their own.

Within themselves they have to want that help. Of course, you can be there to support them along the way, but if their depression is dragging you down with them it is not healthy.

There may come a point when the relationship becomes too much, where the focus is more on your significant other’s problems, than on your shared needs. 

Couples are going to fight and some stress is okay, but when it engulfs the entire relationship that isn’t good for anyone involved. It might be time to think about yourself, and end the unhealthy relationship before it gets worse.  

Being the giver in a relationship isn’t a bad thing, it shows you care enough to put forth the effort. Your significant other should be putting forth that same effort in return. 

A relationship is built on trust, compromise, friendship, love and happiness. When stress is taking away from those, it’s not really a healthy relationship anymore.  

Email [email protected]