Unpopular Opinion: Going to your college commencement is not worth it

Kelsey Mattingly

When you graduate high school, it seems like you have finally reached the pinnacle, the promised land. Walking across that stage and waving your diploma to your family shouting in the back lets you signal, “Mom, I made it!”

Then three or four years later, it’s time for your college commencement ceremony. You probably went to Tin Roof Christmas the night before, you might not know how you got home and your barely-put-together look includes a bar stamp. Trust this advice, friends: Attending your college commencement ceremony is so not worth it.

It’s the same old song and speech. President Eli Capilouto welcomes everyone and then someone you probably don’t know shares a story about their college experience, but that isn’t even the worst part.

Watching all of the classmates you were close with in high school walk across the stage felt bittersweet, but sitting through one or two hours of random people walking across the stage is the worst. Who are these people? Where did they come from? Why do I have to watch them?

If you’re one of the proud and few who make it to the end of the lengthy ceremony, you get to enjoy the singing of “My Old Kentucky Home” with classmates. If you’re one of the weak and many who dip out early, expect loads of judgment from professors and audience members alike.

Either way, you are in a lose-lose situation and it is best to avoid the event altogether. There are countless ways you could spend your time celebrating this huge step into the adult world, perhaps by doing adult things. Shopping for linens, reading a novel or sleeping are all acceptable alternatives to college commencement.

At the end of the day, the choice is yours. Whether you are a diehard for traditions or a rebel without a cause, the world is your oyster. Take the advice, though: Skip commencement and thank me later.