Almost six years ago, one seemingly inconsequential decision to purchase an animal in a Wuhan wet market changed the course of human history. That animal was infected with SARS-CoV-2, colloquially known as the coronavirus.
Suddenly, the pause button was pressed on humanity’s tape. Instantaneously, a social animal was forced inside. Homely walls that once served as a comfort now act as a barrier.
Humans are pack animals. We need people around us to inspire, invigorate and bolster us. Even when isolated, we want to be like the people around us, to blend in and feel part of something bigger.
Even some four years post-pandemic, we are still lonely. As of 25 October 2024, 53% of 18-44 year olds felt “frequently” or “always” lonely, a number that has been on a steady increase since the pandemic.
We have been thrust into an oxymoronic state of being the least connected that we have ever been, while also being more in touch with distant acquaintances miles removed from us than has ever been possible in human history.
Throughout the pandemic, the online world blossomed; people began to feel connected again. We now live vicariously through our screens, effectively creating one-sided para-social relationships with figures only really present on their screens.
This phenomenon has existed for as long as celebrity culture has existed, only recently worsening due to the internet, and is most definitely not unique to the pandemic.
Now, we can order food online, buy clothes and do almost everything that once required a minute of social interaction without ever having to see another person. Before, if you were unable to interact with strangers, your life would be worse for it; you were forced to learn interaction.
Without the roll of the dice with every real-life interaction, the chance of finding a friendship with another person gets smaller by the day.
Even now, people are still isolated from real-life friends. Some began developing pseudo-personal bonds with influencers.
Cults of personality have formed around almost every major influencer, and a “do no wrong” mindset has, of course, followed suit. Radicalization is another unfortunate side effect of this pack mentality.
The radicalization of younger people is something that deserves its own article, but in brief, the so-called “Man-o-sphere” on sites like YouTube and TikTok has created a new breed of misogynistic, bigoted “Gen Alpha-ers,” all taking the word of Andrew Tate or Adin Ross as gospel.
Younger generations gravitate towards these personalities that teach them to be “alpha males.” It became cool and trendy to be nonchalant, characterized as a lonely man, isolated from society in a way that resonates with other young, socially isolated men.
Movies like “Taxi Driver” have become the anthems for the socially ostracized. Unfortunately, the people who feel seen and heard by the film miss its irony. The evil leading men of the films are not someone to be revered. They are a social commentary of how slippery a slope social detachment can be.
Crippling social anxiety is a real problem. The pandemic might have exasperated the issue, in part due to the sweeping societal changes, but feeling more at ease interacting through a screen is not an uncommon issue.
I can empathize with people who feel more comfortable interacting with their friends over digital mediums.
Regardless, believing that your online life interactions are fulfilling the need for real-life interaction is ludicrous and, at times, utterly preposterous. Especially when the online interaction isn’t even with someone that you know personally.
I’ve even caught myself falling into this sociological equivalent of a spike trap. Certain YouTubers who I enjoy — I’ve caught myself feeling like I know the person. In reality, I know I don’t. I’m just a subscription number at best.
As deeply connected as you may feel to your online idols, you must remember that they are people that you have never met face-to-face, and you must realize that they are nothing besides a number to them.
It’s uncomfortable finding new friends, especially if you’re already isolated. But, to be socially healthy, it’s all but a necessity.
Substituting real social interaction with online, pseudo-social interaction can work, in certain circumstances. But for those whose social interaction consists of watching a “get ready with me” video first thing in the morning, something more socially substantial must be found.
As heartbreaking as that realization can be after finding kinship with an influencer, it is something that must be realized. Even if you feel like you’re awkward, that people will think you’re weird – whatever justification for not wanting to meet real people – there is a pack for you.