Different Thanksgiving brews for each relative

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Well folks, I sincerely hope you had the happiest of Thanksgivings. I hope your turkeys were delicious, your company was merry and your drinks were satisfactory.

Thanksgiving is a time of gratitude, and I’m never more grateful for beer than during the holiday season. This week, I’m going to take my best guess at what the various members of your family drank during the biggest dinner of the year.

Uncle Steve, the embarrassing drunk, was probably drinking the Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale (7.2%). As I’m sure you can imagine by its name, this beer is mean as all get out. However, despite its aggressive title, it’s a very palatable beverage. It features spices like nutmeg, vanilla and clove, as well as a profile that leans in the direction of fresh pine and resin. Uncle Steve might be a handful for you and your family, but at least you can steal some of his brews once he passes out.

Aunt Cheryl, was unsurprisingly pounding back Kentucky’s own Goodwood Red Wine Barrel Saison (5.2%). Nothing takes the edge off of family gatherings quite like beer and wine put together, of which Aunt Cheryl is fully aware. These saisons are aged in red wine barrels so it’s pretty much a heavenly combination. Plenty of tartness and fruity sweetness mix together to make a very enjoyable and consistent oak-aged beer.

Your obnoxious cousin Eddie never put down his Victory Prima Pils (5.3%), even after it seemed like he should have finished it hours ago. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of pilsners, but Eddie probably likes the Prima Pils because it’s easily chugged. Eddie probably loves chugging and he probably loves telling you about it too. The beer has a small bite in the hop, but is very reminiscent of many other non-craft pilsners on the tail end. You probably sneered at him just a little bit for drinking this summer session ale way out of season.

Dear old dad was most likely trying to keep some semblance of peace while staying slightly tipsy with his Great Lakes Christmas Ale (7.5%). A marvelous universe of smells and flavors, this ale blends honey, ginger, cinnamon and a host of many other sensations into a magnificent concoction. The taste starts out sweet and inviting, but transitions to satisfactorily spicy as it floats over the taste buds. You probably heard dad complaining about only being allowed to have one six-pack over the course of the day (and be honest, your heart probably broke a little when he killed the last one).

Your mom might have been sipping Blue Moon’s seasonal Gingerbread Spiced Ale (5.9%), a personal favorite of mine. As Christmas gets closer, I start having visions of this beer dancing in my head instead of sugar plums. Obviously, gingerbread is the main feature of this liquid delicacy. Its profile is complimented by tones of molasses and allspice. This beer is widely pleasurable, but definitely made with direction and intention. If you’re looking for an outstanding faux craft beer, look no further.

You, of course, were probably treating yourself with something classy and delectable, like Founders’ Kentucky Breakfast Stout (11.2%). You knew that because this beer’s ABV stands out from the rest, you could knock back a four-pack and have smooth sailing for the entirety of the evening. Although it’s technically a breakfast stout, this beer should be enjoyed at all hours of the day (or night). Deliciously creamy and chocolaty with a growing hint of coffee as the brew warms up, you definitely scored a champion with this one.

Your family might get on your nerves and push all your buttons in the worst ways, but let’s face it: it sounds like they have pretty good tastes in beer. And that’s definitely a step in the right direction. Cheers.

Adam Pennavaria is the beer columnist of the Kentucky Kernel.

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