Recording artist’s story educates young women on domestic abuse

November 8, 2009 | Filed under: Columns,Opinions | Posted by:

Column by Megan Hurt

Many women aren’t concerned with becoming a victim of domestic violence while they’re dating in college. They just don’t believe it’s likely to happen to them because the stereotypical image they see in the media is not of the young woman in her early 20s being abused in a dating relationship.
The stereotype is wrong.
According to the American Bar Association, approximately 1.3 million women are victims of domestic violence every year. Of those victims, 42 percent are between the ages of 18 and 24, meaning almost half of the women who are abused by their partners are the same age as most college students.
Whether out of embarrassment or fear, most women don’t share their stories of domestic violence with the world, and therefore most young women don’t understand how common and how serious it really is. However, the most recent major celebrity domestic violence dispute involving recording artists Chris Brown and Rihanna in February provides a prominent example of the reality of domestic violence.
Rihanna chose to speak out about her experience Friday on ABC’s 20/20. On Feb. 7, Rihanna and Brown were driving home from a pre-Grammy party when they got into an argument over a text message from Brown’s ex-girlfriend, Rihanna said. 
After pulling over on the side of the road in a neighborhood, Brown punched Rihanna repeatedly in the face and even at one point bit her ear and fingers, according to the police report.
Rihanna said  the police were called only after someone in a nearby house heard Rihanna’s screams coming from inside the car.
After the incident in February, Rihanna temporarily went back to Brown, meeting for a weekend in Miami in the hopes of working out their problems and renewing their relationship.
Dianne Sawyer, who conducted the 20/20 interview, said it takes a woman on average seven tries before she will leave her partner. Rihanna said for her it was “more like eight or nine, actually.”
“The minute the physical wounds go away, you put it in the back of your head and start lying to yourself, subconsciously,” Rihanna said. “If I feel this depressed, is that what he is going though? Again, lying to yourself. I had to protect him.”
“When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result into some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part,” she said. “If Chris never hit me again, who’s to say their boyfriend won’t? Who’s to say that they won’t kill these girls? And these are young girls.”
Rihanna said the Feb. 7 incident was the first time Brown had physically hurt her, although he had once broken a car window and slammed her up against the wall in previous arguments. Rihanna said she hadn’t felt threatened by Brown in those incidents, but they were clearly warning signs of his temper and violent nature.
Like Rihanna, some women ignore the warning signs and stay with their partner while the temper and outbursts escalate into physical violence.
Those women usually believe the situations won’t escalate, but it usually does. It’s better to evaluate the situation as early as those warning signs begin to surface and remove yourself from the situation before it becomes something more painful.
Rihanna said she wanted young women in abusive relationships to evaluate the situation critically, because like her, they could be blinded by their love. “Don’t react off of love, f—- love,” she said. “Come out of a situation and look at it third person and for what it really is. And then make your decision, ‘cause love is so blind.”
No matter who you are or how you think you will react in an abusive situation, it could happen to you. Rihanna’s experience shows young women that it can happen to anyone.
Rihanna built her career off of being an independent and strong female musical artist; something that many people believed made her least likely to become a victim of domestic violence. But it did, in fact, happen to her.
“I am strong,” she said. “This happened to me. I didn’t cause this. I didn’t do it.  This happened to me and it could happen to anybody, and I’m glad it happened to me, now I can help young girls.”
It might seem that Rihanna, as a victim of abuse, isn’t the type of role model to have. But her story can educate young women on domestic violence better than a lecture from a concerned parent or teacher ever can. Through her experience, we can all learn the impact domestic violence has on college-aged women and be more aware in situations we might encounter in the future.
Megan Hurt is a journalism senior. E-mail mhurt@kykernel.com.

Many women aren’t concerned with becoming a victim of domestic violence while they’re dating in college. They just don’t believe it’s likely to happen to them because the stereotypical image they see in the media is not of the young woman in her early 20s being abused in a dating relationship.

The stereotype is wrong.

According to the American Bar Association, approximately 1.3 million women are victims of domestic violence every year. Of those victims, 42 percent are between the ages of 18 and 24, meaning almost half of the women who are abused by their partners are the same age as most college students.

Whether out of embarrassment or fear, most women don’t share their stories of domestic violence with the world, and therefore most young women don’t understand how common and how serious it really is. However, the most recent major celebrity domestic violence dispute involving recording artists Chris Brown and Rihanna in February provides a prominent example of the reality of domestic violence.

Rihanna chose to speak out about her experience Friday on ABC’s 20/20. On Feb. 7, Rihanna and Brown were driving home from a pre-Grammy party when they got into an argument over a text message from Brown’s ex-girlfriend, Rihanna said. 

After pulling over on the side of the road in a neighborhood, Brown punched Rihanna repeatedly in the face and even at one point bit her ear and fingers, according to the police report.

Rihanna said  the police were called only after someone in a nearby house heard Rihanna’s screams coming from inside the car.

After the incident in February, Rihanna temporarily went back to Brown, meeting for a weekend in Miami in the hopes of working out their problems and renewing their relationship.

Dianne Sawyer, who conducted the 20/20 interview, said it takes a woman on average seven tries before she will leave her partner. Rihanna said for her it was “more like eight or nine, actually.”

“The minute the physical wounds go away, you put it in the back of your head and start lying to yourself, subconsciously,” Rihanna said. “If I feel this depressed, is that what he is going though? Again, lying to yourself. I had to protect him.”

“When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result into some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part,” she said. “If Chris never hit me again, who’s to say their boyfriend won’t? Who’s to say that they won’t kill these girls? And these are young girls.”

Rihanna said the Feb. 7 incident was the first time Brown had physically hurt her, although he had once broken a car window and slammed her up against the wall in previous arguments. Rihanna said she hadn’t felt threatened by Brown in those incidents, but they were clearly warning signs of his temper and violent nature.

Like Rihanna, some women ignore the warning signs and stay with their partner while the temper and outbursts escalate into physical violence.

Those women usually believe the situations won’t escalate, but it usually does. It’s better to evaluate the situation as early as those warning signs begin to surface and remove yourself from the situation before it becomes something more painful.

Rihanna said she wanted young women in abusive relationships to evaluate the situation critically, because like her, they could be blinded by their love. “Don’t react off of love, f—- love,” she said. “Come out of a situation and look at it third person and for what it really is. And then make your decision, ‘cause love is so blind.”

No matter who you are or how you think you will react in an abusive situation, it could happen to you. Rihanna’s experience shows young women that it can happen to anyone.

Rihanna built her career off of being an independent and strong female musical artist; something that many people believed made her least likely to become a victim of domestic violence. But it did, in fact, happen to her.

“I am strong,” she said. “This happened to me. I didn’t cause this. I didn’t do it.  This happened to me and it could happen to anybody, and I’m glad it happened to me, now I can help young girls.”

It might seem that Rihanna, as a victim of abuse, isn’t the type of role model to have. But her story can educate young women on domestic violence better than a lecture from a concerned parent or teacher ever can. Through her experience, we can all learn the impact domestic violence has on college-aged women and be more aware in situations we might encounter in the future.

Megan Hurt is a journalism senior. E-mail mhurt@kykernel.com.