Dolla’ dolla’ bills, ya’ll: How money can be the root of all evil in your relationship

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Katie Saltz

Of all the factors that cause stress in a relationship, the dollar bill has to be at the top of the list. Biggie Smalls was right — Mo’ money just means mo’ problems. Money is a touchy subject for some people, namely those who don’t make a lot of it. It can get more complicated if there is a significant cash-flow gap between you and your partner.
Going out on dates should always remain a part of your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together. But even just dinner and a movie can add up. If you know you are strapped until next pay day and your beau wants to hit the bars, what do you say? You are stuck between the rock of staying home while your other goes without you, or the hard place of both of you sitting at home while everyone else is out. Or, of course, there is the inevitable, “I’ll pay, don’t worry about it.”
The I.O.U. When do those ever really get cashed in? Most people in relationships take turns paying without really keeping track because they know it will even out in the long run. But if your partner always has cash to spare and you struggle to pay rent, those “I’ve got you covered” nights rack up and can create an awkward vibe.
We all know how the world works — money equals power. That doesn’t necessarily change just because you enter a romantic relationship. If you are paying for dinner every time you go out, chances are, you are picking the restaurant. Even if you offer your less-compensated partner the choice, it becomes uncomfortable to always feel like the needy one. It’s just assumed that the one who pays will make more of the decisions, and if you want to reap the benefits, you’ll have to play along.
If you make more money than your partner, don’t apologize. You earn your money, be proud of it. But watch how it affects your behavior with your significant other. Consider their financial situation when planning your activities. Don’t constantly suggest expensive outings, even if you are willing to pay. Let them save some dignity and plan some dates that don’t require spending money.
If you are on the other end of the financial spectrum, try to let go of that pride and be happy for your other. Try not to be jealous of their bank statement and instead focus on what attracted you to them in the first place. Graciously accept being treated every now and then, but don’t fall into that pattern and take advantage of your partner’s good fortune. Take the lead in planning those cheap dates — renting movies, going to a free exhibit at a museum, search out bars with great happy hours.
However the chips may fall in your financial realm, try to not let the difference overwhelm your relationship. The tables may turn one day and you could hold that bigger or smaller paycheck.
Katie Saltz is a journalism senior. E-mail theheartbeat@kykernel.com.