As the end credits prepare to roll on any of the thousand teen romance movies we all have suffered through in our time, the same scene is witnessed over and over. The popular guy realizes he is in love with the girl-next-door, chases her to the airport and then gives some stock speech about how “You see the real me” and blah blah … It’s endearing to believe those two high school seniors grow old together, but we never see what happens after the movie ends. Nobody makes the sequel where the two lovebirds go off to college and the girl wanders into the dorm one day to find sweetie doing a sorority chick, or the drawn-out terrible realization that you both have grown up and — painfully — grown apart.  

 

Moving off to college has many terrifying components. Leaving the family behind, moving away from friends and familiarity — it makes sense that you want to cling to a high school romance. But you will find a lot of that baggage won’t fit in your ridiculously tiny dorm room closet. 

Grab any college senior on campus and ask if they are the same person now they were four years ago. The answer will almost always be “Absolutely not.” The difference between 17 and 21 is astonishing for most people. Your priorities change, your view of the world expands, and (hopefully) your emotional self has grown older. 

I’m not saying that it’s impossible for high school relationships to transcend to the college level. But it is difficult. People don’t realize how much a person can change and grow during their time as an undergrad. Maybe the best way to mature is to let go of certain adolescent attachments.

Allowing yourself to be open to new people and new experiences is vital for success in college. And if you allow yourself to remain in the comfort of familiar company, you might miss out.

Some of you might be offended — “Oh my gosh, we’re not breaking up just because we’re in college. We were voted cutest couple junior year!”

 You don’t have to immediately dump your significant other. I would never make that recommendation. Some people are lucky enough to find their soul mates at 16, and those are the people that Molly Ringwald made movies about. But new students who came to college attached need to recognize the danger of that comfort zone.  

Talk it over with your partner before you leave for school — whether you are going to the same college or moving hundreds of miles apart. Don’t ditch going out with new friends to make your Skype date. Make sure you go to a UK football game instead of visiting your sweetheart every single weekend. Giving each other the space to do some self-discovery will benefit both parties in the long run. 

It takes a lot to make a relationship work and if college is new territory, be ready to adjust your relationship to the landscape. More freedom means less trust for a lot of couples. But no matter how much you miss your heart’s homecoming queen or king, try not to deprive yourself of the college experience.