All right, let’s be real. I prefer to discuss relationships without the mention of sex in my columns because I like to think relationships can be maintained without sex as a central focus. But I’m not an idiot, and I am in college. So let’s get down to it.
College is a time of varying maturity levels when it comes to relationships. Some of us are in a place to settle down while others are just starting to sow those wild oats. While it is up to each individual to decide what they are looking for, you should be aware of what your love interest is looking for as well.
If you are out to play the game and notch some tallies in the bedpost, more power to you. But make sure you are aware of what your partner’s expectations are. Nothing sucks more than thinking you are on the road to being a girlfriend and realizing you are that creature of the night we all know, some love, and most fall victim to — the booty call.
I don’t judge what goes on in other people’s bedrooms, but I wanted to put together a little list for folks to glance at and reflect. A lot of people come to college very naïve and think sex equals intimacy. So very wrong.
This list is gender-biased in its use of pronouns, but bear with me, it’s the only perspective I have. Let’s just run down this quick “if, then†collection, a la Jeff Foxworthy.
If the only lighting you’ve ever seen him in is under fluorescent bulbs at the bar, you might be a booty call.
If your text messages are always sent between midnight and 4 a.m., you might be a booty call.
If every date ends up with you walking home with your underwear in your purse, you might be a booty call.
If his idea of cuddling is a high five and rolling over, you might be a booty call.
If you wake up to him gone and a Post-It on the nightstand saying “Call you later,†you might be a booty call.
If the only things he has ever bought you contained alcohol, you might be a booty call.
If he introduces you to his friends as first name only, no relation, you might be a booty call.
If you call yourself his girlfriend and he starts stuttering about homework, you might be a booty call.
Now think a minute. Maybe you already knew all of this and consider yourself self-aware with a healthy sexual appetite. Like I said, that is your prerogative so go on and do what you do, head held high, no judgment here.
But if you have one or two checks on that list above and still believe you are a girlfriend-in-waiting, please have one of your friends shake you until you awake from your dream world of unicorns and rainbows. You are (gasp!) a booty call. And if you don’t want to be, get out now.
If you are looking for something real to wake up to in the morning, your bed buddy probably isn’t it. Real connections can be made in the midnight hours, but better ones are made in the sunshine. So put the spotlight on your relationship and ask: Is it really satisfying every need you have, physical and emotional? If yes, have fun and please practice safe sex. Every time. All the time. Seriously, there is no reason not to. But if you are feeling a little unfulfilled, ignore that text that usually comes right after “last call,†and find yourself someone who wants the same connection you do.
Katie Saltz is a journalism junior.
Although helpful advice, I think this particular columnist should practice what she preaches, and not plagiarize situations from Sex and the City.
Hey, speaking of which, we’re reading a book about just this in my Capstone class. It’s called “Hooking Up.” Every college student should read it.
And how about people stop being “Anonymous”? This is college, not high school.
Here is a suggestion…. save sex for marriage! Call me old fashion, out of touch, living in a fantasy or in the 50′s but saving sex for marriage is truly an option… and one where you are not just another notch on the bedpost… or a ‘booty call’….
Go ahead… rip me up but this is where I stand.
David